Goodbye Carnegie – or – A Very Real Illustration of What’s Wrong With NYC (aka GREED)

“Along with my daughter Sarri and in honor of my late father Milton, I would like to sincerely thank all of our loyal patrons, – tourists, dignitaries, and New Yorkers alike – who have visited Carnegie Deli over the past 80 years. Since my father took over the Deli in 1976, this has been a second home to me and it has been a true privilege and an honor to serve you. Although this has been an incredibly difficult decision to officially close Carnegie Deli New York (854 7th Avenue) tonight at midnight, we thank you for your letters, notes, visits and sharing your stories. The Carnegie Deli looks forward to expanding wholesale and retail operations and welcoming you to the other licensed locations at Madison Square Garden, The Mirage in Las Vegas, NV, Sands Casino Resort in Bethlehem, PA and during the US Open Tennis Championships in Flushing, Queens. Our family-owned and operated meat processing facility and bakery in New Jersey will continue Carnegie Deli’s celebrated legacy, by supplying the other locations and selling select products and merchandise directly to the public online at Thank you again and we wish you all a very Happy, Healthy and Peaceful New Year!”

This is the statement released today by Marian Harper-Levine, the so-called “President” and owner of the famed Carnegie Deli in mid-town Manhattan…at least for another few hours.

After that, don’t worry fly-over-state tourists, you can still enjoy “authentic” Carnegie sandwiches and cheesecake from any of our various “retail” locations, or you can even enjoy it in your very own McMansion house out in the sticks via our online delivery scheme. Don’t worry, it’ll be just like sitting there in the real thing, really, we wouldn’t lie…we’d just ram a 80 year old deli to death with our own personal greed and mismanagement, use it as collateral for our messy divorce, and then after getting caught ripping off their employees for years, AND endangering their and our customers lives with a little old gas thingy…but you can trust us that the soggy, fat laden lard-wich we’ll FedEx you (with added shipping and handling of course) will be just like the real thingy ding!

So if you want a face to go along with what’s wrong with the good old things in NYC here it is. I present to you for your consideration, Ms Marian Harper-Levine:

But don’t worry for Ms Harper-Levine, she’ll be just fine, like her type ALWAYS are.

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